turboheaven | Weekend 0

Weekend 0

🗺️ Map

📌 Welcome

Think for a moment. What's the last thing you remember, exactly? Were you with your loved ones? Were you fighting for your life? Whatever the case may be, the story ends like this: you died. Regardless of how important circumstances were, you have been eliminated from your own world. That's all there is.

Perhaps it will surprise you to wake up surrounded by the sky in every direction. What's above is reflected below in the shallow water that ripples beneath you without getting you wet. Strangely, what lies beneath this water is a mystery to you, and it feels more like walking on a glass surface, completely solid and clear underfoot.

Despite the fact you've perished, nothing hurts. Any injuries you arrived with have been neatly bandaged, and anything life-threatening has been mended enough that it no longer is. The warm sunshine probably feels good on your skin right now, doesn't it? The temperature is perfect, and you feel oddly comfortable considering the circumstances.

You aren't the only one rousing, however. Strangers around you also blink into consciousness, glowing halos flickering to life and floating over their heads. It might be hard to see the shape of your own halo looking up, but your reflection on the ground should help with that. Reaching up to touch it will prove futile. It's intangible, though your hand feels a little warm passing through it.

Your first instinct might be to leave. Can't blame you. You're in a strange place surrounded by strange people and no sense of direction. You might even try to use one of your powers from your home world to escape, but try as you might they don't appear to work. Worry not though; it looks like this place has bestowed some gifts upon you. Within your vicinity you have have one item from home. You have a gift box with your name on it. And, of course, you have the brand new sexy angel costume that you're already wearing! 😇

So what are you waiting for? Up and at 'em! The island has plenty of space to explore, though as you approach the edge it fades slowly into a thick fog. Pressing onward into the fog will disorient you and soon you'll find yourself completely turned around right back where you started. Probably best to stick to this area.

But hey, there's plenty to look at still! Instead of empty space, scattered around the island you'll see glassy, transparent protrusions from the ground. Most of them... well, you can't quite make out the shape. Could be buildings. Could be trees. Could be objects on the ground. Flowers, maybe? Their form doesn't seem to want to settle, and the light catching on their edges isn't really as illuminating as you'd like.

There is one exception to this. One shape seems to be more stable than the rest, less transparent and instead just... hazy. It's like you're looking at it through glasses with the wrong prescription. Even though it's blurry, you can tell that it's a cafe, and its door is wide open. Thoughtful, right? Whoever or whatever brought you here, at least they don't want you to starve!

Though no one is manning the counter, you can order your desired meal off of the slightly-clearer touch screen menu that offers up any kind of fast food you could want. There are also two restrooms in the back, with the keys hanging up on the wall beside them. That aside, there doesn't appear to be anything else open and you're left to your own devices.

We understand this is a lot to process, so take your time adjusting. And remember: everything is fine.

🎁 Gift Basket

As mentioned, each of you wake up with your item from home and a gift box with your name on it. There's a printed note attached to the fancy ribbon tying it off. It reads: Enjoy a welcome gift from us! For any questions, please refer to the informational pamphlet inside. ... but naturally, no such pamphlet seems to exist.

Each box contains the following:

📱
Cell Phone

A smartphone. Text and call to your heart's content. Just kidding! There's no service yet.
At least the camera and notes app work.

🖊️
Pen

One encouraging pen of your choice. Blue ink!

🥚
Egg

A large egg the color of your halo. About ostrich egg sized. Warm.

⚔️
Toy Lightsaber

A collapsible toy lightsaber! Lights up the same color as your halo.

🧸
Squishmallow

A small squishmallow! Any animal or item that would suit your personality.

🧶
One Crocheted Accessory

A cute scarf/mittens/hat/etc, handmade in a color that suits you.

♡

   😇

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[10 so ig he's perfectly average at burger kicking]

[ that's pretty solid... and won't hit Jacopo in the face. ]

Make them—it—whatever this is! Stop!!

How!? What did you even do?

Why are you assuming I'm the cause?!

[ WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE except for my written word ]

What, are you saying someone did this to you?

[SAID HALF-JUDGMENTAL, HALF OH SHIT MAYBE SOMEONE DID DO THIS TO THIS POOR GUY but he will kind of frantically wander around trying to figure out how to stop this]

It's this place! What else!!

[ The burgers keep burgering out of the... i don't know... the kitchen? Jacopo eventually pulls himself out of the burger mess, looking like... A burger mess. ]

It's cursed!

[AAAAAAA

TAKES HIS SHEATHED SWORD AND HITS THE MENU WITH IT LIKE THAT'LL STOP THIS

the burgers are burgering harder now.]

[ oh my god is he hitting the tablet??? ]

What are you doing?!

Look, you said this place was cursed, so what else was I supposed to do!?

[HE'S A WARRIOR THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW TO SOLVE PROBLEMS IS THROUGH VIOLENCE]

[ WELL... HE IS WATCHING EVERYTHING... AND IT IS A LOT TO DIGEST... Jacopo falls to a squat, running his hands through his hair and tries to understand ANYTHING.

BUT THE BURGER SMELL IS SO STRONG. NOTHING MAKES SENSE. ]

Conduct yourself like a normal person would?!

[ BE NORMAL ]

Curses don't actually exist!

[THE FCKIN HILARITY OF JACOPO SAYING THIS anyway]

We're probably in the afterlife or whatever, anything goes! [a beat, and because he is actually a little concerned about this man possibly having a crisis as he squats—] But are you okay?

[ he's such a nonbeliever

As an answer to the question, he grumbles. ]

I smell like meat.

... Well, I definitely can't help with that. [a sigh] I'm going to smell like meat after this too, huh...

Why are there smells in the afterlife...

[ he has been losing his mind at this point. ]

[that's fair]

It does feel pretty stupid that we have to eat even when dead.

[ Deep breaths, guys. It seems he has? Calmed? Down? ]

It's ridiculous, unless it's meant to be leisure. [ With the roll of his eyes: ] But gluttony is a sin—is what pious followers would say.

[a hum]

Be free of worldly desires and all that, right? Things here do seem counterproductive to that.

Yes. All of that spiel about being devout to our Father in the Heavens.

[ Blah blah blah, he's disinterested in that. The burgers keep coming, but they're flooding a different area of the cafe. ]

Do you believe this to be the afterlife?